It’s been a long day. Everything that could have gone wrong did…and everything that should have gone right didn’t. You crawl into bed, already dreading tomorrow. And you’re overwhelmed.
Failure. Regret. Anger. Sadness. Loneliness. Darkness. Anxiety. Fear.
They crawl into your brain so that you can’t think straight. And there’s no way that you will ever get to sleep. Instead of counting sheep, you’re counting off every. little. thing. that has gone wrong over the past week and you’re calculating exactly how you were responsible for each one and exactly how everyone will look down on you now…and tomorrow…and the next day…and the next…
These are your masters. You can’t escape them. They will be with you the next morning. You’ll get up, feeling crappy…you didn’t actually sleep. You immediately start thinking about everything that will go wrong today. But…what if you didn’t think of everything that could go wrong.
For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace -Romans 6:14
When you hoard all of your past mistakes inside of your head and your heart, refusing to give them over to God, you’re telling Him that you don’t trust Him. You don’t trust in His wisdom, power, will, grace. God does not wish for us to be stuck in our sin and regret. The Son was sacrificed so that we might move forward and experience life with Him. This is His gift for us so that we, as recipients and children, might accept…celebrate…respect…
Do you respect His gift of grace? Or do you continue to hoard your past regrets and failures, refusing to believe that He is merciful? He definitely doesn’t hoard your mistakes…He doesn’t even remember them. Hebrews 10 reminds us that the one sacrifice made this possible.
And Paul is one of the best examples of God’s grace and mercy! In 1 Timothy he writes, “The grace of our Lord has poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus,” (1 Timothy 1:13). If you’re struggling to accept God’s forgiveness of your mistakes and His desire for you to experience something new, I would encourage you to look more carefully at the story of Paul (it all begins in Acts 9:1-31).