Have you ever said to the Lord: “God, I feel so stupid! Stupid for falling for the same temptation again and again / stupid for not making enough time to be with You / stupid for holding on to bad habits.” Ehm, yes to all of the above from my part.
After messing up time after time, most people would say (and some may have actually said): “Really?! You’ve done it AGAIN?!” Maybe you feel like that’s what God will say if you pray to Him now, in the midst of your mess. And even though people told you like 80 times that He won’t, you still feel hesitant to pray to Him. So, let me remind you for the 81st time:
For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning. -Psalm 30:5
It can be good to sometimes feel that God is angry with us (for a moment). It can help to fully lay everything down at His feet, to surrender completely and cry out to Him with all our hearts. And you see, when we do so, joy really will come in the morning and His favor will come over our lives.
But you have to let God take the wheel… completely. Be honest with yourself: that temptation you so often deal with, that bad habit you can’t seem to get rid of, are you really 100 percent ready to let it go? Or are you asking God to free you from it while in the meantime still holding on to the wheel?
And then you end up falling into the same trap, again, feeling like a failure, again, being hesitant to pray for forgiveness, again…
You know, God doesn’t want you to fail and feel miserable about yourself. On the contrary! So, start getting truly honest with Him. If, deep down inside, you feel that you’re not completely ready to fight your temptation or bad habit with all that you have in you, tell Him. Tell Him how you feel. Ask Him to help you get ready. Ask Him to help you realize how important it is to leave it in the past.
O Lord my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me. -Psalm 30:2
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